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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I wouldn't pay to have a lentil on my face!"

"The past, the present and the future walked into a bar It was tense."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... without a penis."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly this joke onto /r/jokes everyday"

"what does Dr Watson says to his flatmate when he's constipated? no shit, Sherlock"

"Are you alright? No, you are all left"

"Why does a dog lick it's balls? Because they're delicious. What? You've never tried them? You're missing out."

"If dumping the last of your chips into the dip and eating it like cereal is wrong then I don't wanna be right."

"ducks love bread but aparently bread is bad for ducks, so dont feed ducks bread, but love ducks even more bc theyre self-destructive like us"

"What's the difference between a lima bean and a chickpea? I've never had a lima bean on my face."