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Joke of the Day
"Friends are like balloons... If you stab them, they die"
Next Joke
"Sometimes I get really stoned and stare at phone and wonder why I pay so much money for a government tracking device."
"ME: time for sleep BRAIN: what if potatoes could talk ME: ugh BRAIN: and make friends with one another ME: please stop BRAIN: best spuds"
"Someone told me: You shouldn't fall in love because you might get hurt.... I said yeah: And you shouldn't fuckin live because you might die.."
"I tried to take a dump on an airplane. TSA was none too please when they had to clean out the tray"
"Frodo collected the keys to Macy's, JCPenney, McDonald's, etc. and put them on a single key ring It was one ring to rule the mall."
"""I'm a green onion and I'm here to say, I can be enjoyed most every day."" -A rapscallion"
"What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life, and you're just starting back at your last checkpoint?"
"Tried to cash in on this kid joke thing. My daughter is a disappointment. Why did the skeleton cross the road? He didn't because he doesn't have skin and he just fell apart."
"What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film? Stop playing it cagey!"