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Joke of the Day

"The guy next door just put up his Christmas lights... I bet he's pissed because I beat him, I put mine up 5 years ago.."

"I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know"

"Don't trust an atom They make up everything."

"What's the difference between Cheryl Crawford and dead embryos? Dead embryos don't tell on their mothers ..."

"What do liberals and homeless people have in common? They are always asking for change."

"Did you here about the new zoo? They put a fence around Iowa."

"For awhile I'm thinking about going out tonight...I haven't seen those blurry people that ask me how much I've had to drink for awhile!"

"What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust Worse*"

"Sick of obnoxious ring tones in the office, so I've set mine to the sound of a girl screaming (horror movie style)."

"When someone ask me... How are you?... I answer back... You mean in bed?"