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Joke of the Day

"Home Alone is my favorite movie about how child neglect and bad parenting is hilarious"

"Why is it so tough being a paedophile? It's hard fitting in."

"What does Islamic extremists and skydivers have in common? they're both Paris shooters"

"Love your neighbor, but don't get caught."

"Don't judge. Maybe I'm conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don't know."

"Kid: Hey, Mum! What's an orgasm? Mom: I don't know dear, ask your father."

"Reporter: To what do you attribute your old age? Old Man: To the fact that I was born in 1890."

"My parents would hide fruit roll ups on top of the refrigerator where I couldn't reach them. And leave chemicals under the sink."

"Did you hear about the crazy train that went on a killing spree? Authorities believe it had a loco motive."

"I overheard my wife singing in the shower. ""You should go on America's Got Talent,"" I told her. ""I can't sing,"" she replied. I said, ""Exactly."""