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Joke of the Day

"Me: Why am I suddenly sick? Friend: Probably the change in the Weather [earlier] Weather: *uncharacteristically puts poison in my coffee*"

"My Korean friend died yesterday... So Yung..."

"Stop! Hammered time."

"Credit cards are VERY dangerous. Every time I try to use one somebody starts chasing me with scissors."

"A man once said, that i was gay... ...i took his dick out of my mouth and said ""i'll add an extra 5 bucks to the bill for that"""

"9: What are you going to be for Halloween dad? me: Drunk 9: What's mom gonna be? me: Mad"

"What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtian."

"There was a sailor on a ship that was discovered to be gay. When the others found out they tossed him off."

"I take spiders outside in stead of killing them because it's not their fault that I'm scared of them. I do however, scream while doing so."

"How do you make a hormone? Pay well, and give her the best time you can."