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Joke of the Day

"Women don't consider it chivalrous when you open bathroom stall doors for them."

"Butt dialing and booty calling So similar. So different"

"I was going to make a joke about Sodium and Hydrogen but NaH"

"What do French athletes wear? Jaques straps"

"I saw the strangest thing ever today. I threw a sausage off the pier and some blind man jumped in after it, then when he reappeared out of the water, he had transformed into a Labrador."

"What cloud is so lazy because it will not get up? -Fog"

"My 10 year old: ""If nothing is faster than the speed of light, how did the darkness get there first."" Me: ""What?"""

"(Animal school) Lion: That's my desk Wildebeast: Sorry, I'm gnu -5 minutes later Sloth: *slowly falling from chair* Ha. Ha. Ha. Gnu!"

"*Murderer points a gun at me* ""You wanna die today"" Me: ""Yeah kinda"" Murderer: *lowers gun* damn, you wanna talk about it?"

"how do you make holy water boil the hell out of it"