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Joke of the Day
"Michael J. Fox What is Michael J. Fox's favorite song? Shake it off"
Next Joke
"KIDNAPPER: Get in the van ME: Oh no thanks I'm vegetarian KIDNAPPER: Oh okay sorry *drives away* {15min later} KIDNAPPER: Wait a minute, wtf"
"I once threw a fish off of the roof of my house. I guess you could say the bass dropped."
"Those who throw dirt... ...are sure to lose ground."
"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?.. **RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!**"
"There once was an Italian chef He pastaway"
"I've got a 100 question vocab quiz this friday on 9/11... Well I guess I'm gonna bomb it"
"Dating is good practice for parenting because you learn not to care when someone is crying in a restaurant."
"Q: What do you call a cat who eats lemons? - A: A sourpuss!"
"Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It chickened out"