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Joke of the Day

"One social worker asks another ""What time is it?"" The second replies, ""I don't know, I'm not wearing a watch."" The first says, ""That's OK, the important thing is we talked about it."""

"I can tell everything I need to know about your business by the thickness of your bathroom toilet paper."

"I've just got my own valet and found people treat you completely differently. He's opened a lot of doors for me."

"A couple's having breakfast. He says, ""Were you faking it last night?"" She says, ""No, I was really asleep."""

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face."

"Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The assailant avoided prison, though. As the battery charge wouldn't hold."

"Women are like magnets... I have no clue how they work."

"There are so many scams on the Internet now... Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them."

"How do you spot the blind man at the nudist beach? It's not hard"

"How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?"