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Joke of the Day

"I've just got my own valet and found people treat you completely differently. He's opened a lot of doors for me."

"[Morgue] Cop: Sir, I know it's tough but we need you to ID the body Me looking at corpse: *takes deep breath* Areare you over 21?"

"Life After Death Hey grandma, do you think that life after death will be beautiful? Grandma: Well that depends, who died?"

"What did Peter rabbit say to his girlfriend when they broke up? ""Now you're just some bunny that I used to know."""

"A rainbow.. Is gods little way of frowning at gay people"

"Through voting, users determine what posts rise to the top of community pages and, by extension, the public home page of the site ...until the mods wake up."

"A sandwich walks into a bar. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: ""Sorry, we don't serve food in here."""

"What is the last thing the host of an orgy says to his guests? Thank you for coming!"

"The Commandments 1) def don't kill 2) no stealing, obvs 3) don't say my name? idk 4) luv ur neighbs! 5) but don't LOVE-love them, that's bad"

"Felix Baumgartner's 127,000 ft jump becomes world's greatest free fall, unseating previous record set by the 2008 US Economy. #spacejump"