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Joke of the Day

"I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help. I told her I don't have the money to hire a hitman."

"What disease do donkey's get from eating too much fast food? Aspergers.."

"What did the zoo employee say to the big cat? ""Why you always lion?"""

"A friend and I are walking down the street When we see a dog laying in the yard , licking his balls. My friend says ""I wish I could do that!"". I told him "" I bet that dog would bite you!"""

"I don't think a lion would play golf But a Tiger Wood"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chickpea? I've never paid 50 bucks to have a garbanzo on my face."

"Where is it? Last night I went to a bar called the G-Spot. It was hard to find."

"When did 888 equal zero???? When Eight ate eight"

"The sooner one of you ladies takes one for the team' and becomes my girlfriend, they sooner I leave the REST of you alone!"

"They say make up sex is the best... Good thing, because all the sex I have is made up."