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Joke of the Day

"If I had a time machine I would go back to certain conversations with my wife to see if she really said the things she's told me I forgot..."

"Thanks god my wife die. hhhhhhhhh"

"I like my women like I like my pie.... Made by my grandmother."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands"

"Whats the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on in my mouth"

"I told a friend of mine that me and other friends were talking about him behind his back. He told me, ""You disgust me."" And I said, ""Yes. Yes we did."""

"If there are degrees of asshole, I'm the pressing the crosswalk button even after watching you do it because maybe you did it wrong kind."

"What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini? You won't find a Lambo in a landfill."

"My wife always finds a reason to hate every girl that I bring home."

"Why are horses so negative? Because they're nay sayers."