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Joke of the Day
"I finally got my crush wet.. She got mad at me because i stole her umbrella"
Next Joke
"What do you call someone who talks on their phone during dinner? Cellfcentered"
"Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? Because so many witches are sweeping the sky."
"People who make me do a slight jog because they hold the door open for me when I'm 15 feet away are the first to die when I become god."
"Me: You a good personal trainer? Him: You bet your emotionally distant dad I am. Me: [through tears] Wow, that's personal. You're hired."
"I don't want to tell an anal joke... But fuck it."
"What job did the farmer give to his learning-disabled child? Herder"
"Exec 1: So, you wait in long lines. No shade. Crying kids. Drinks cost $7.00. Exec 2: Nice. What do we call it? E1: Lol, ""amusement park."""
"Do you know two places to put water? Well Dam"
"Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everyone can roast beef"