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Joke of the Day

"Why did the dolphin go to church? He was looking for a porpoise. (thought this one up but I doubt I was the first one that did.)"

"(p + l)(a + n)=pa+pn+la+ln I just foiled your plan."

"Why did Jesus come back from the dead? Because Mary Magdalene was his Horcrux."

"I just saw the most beautiful girl, but she was wearing those huge sunglasses so there is still a chance she's a 1200 pound rhinoceros."

"Second date tip: repeat everything you said on the first date, word for word."

"Why are most Muslims broke all the time? They never understood the concept of piggy banks."

"See these bags under my eyes? They're Prada."

"What's the difference between a garbonzo bean and a Russian chick pea? Trump never paid money to see a garbonzo bean!"

"What's the difference between a shrimp with big tits and a bus station full of old people? One's a busty crustacean and the other's a crusty bus station!"

"My Dad is a real family man. He has three of them"