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Joke of the Day

"My coworker said my clothes looked gay. I responded with ""Well they did come out of the closet today."""

"What do you call the area where a horse lives? The NEIGHHHHHHborhood"

"I read the world's worst thesaurus today. Not only was it terrible, it was terrible."

"""You're bleeding because you don't floss"" Me: No, I'm bleeding because I ate the entire bowl of deceivingly fake fruit in your waiting room."

"A man started choking in the line at Wendys today. Luckily the manager jumped into action and opened another register"

"Two pubes sat on a toilet seat...nsfw One says to the other, ""how long are we going to stay here?"" The other says ""dunno, till we get pissed off I suppose""."

"The annoying moment when I get comfy in bed and realize I forgot to do something."

"How may tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? Tentacles!"

"hundred times Old couple laying in bed. The man turns and tells the woman, ""If you want to have sex, pull on my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull on my dick one hundred times."""

"And then the doctor says... Now, what did I do with my pen?"