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Joke of the Day

"Trying to get lunch w 4 yo in restaurant: ""If you can't behave we're going to have to leave here."" ""But I want to leave here."" Touche."

"The water from a drinking fountain tastes like pennies and mumps."

"It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission. "

"Been flirting with this hot chick in this bar for almost a hour now. It's only a matter of time now till nothing sexual happens whatsoever."

"A photon checks into a hotel... The bellhop asks him if he has any luggage and the photon replies ""No. I'm travelling light."""

"Why couldn't the bike stand up? It was two tired"

"What famous pig actor made a movie about Frankenswine? Boaris Karloff."

"So in 60,000 years the only thing the Aborigines have invented was a returning stick. Oh i meant to post this on /r/facts"

"A T-Rex and a Dude walk into a bar.... Dude says ""Hey T-Rex, ya got the first round?"" T-Rex says ""Sorry dude, I'm short handed"""

"""What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?"" - my daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome"