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Joke of the Day

"DAD: u can grow up to be anything u want ME: imma be a hamster D: ok not that M: *already building an elaborate series of tubes to run thru*"

"Talking to my friend about how useless I am with ladies... Me: ""I even had to stand on a damn ladder yesterday just to kiss my date goodnight..."" Him: ""Wow, was she tall?"" ""No, she hung herself."""

"New horror film inspired by Facebook I liked what you did last summer."

"I celebrate 4/20 On 1/5 Simplify your fractions!"

"What do you say when your neighbor's 5 year old goes missing? Nothing."

"How do you get three gay men off your couch Jerk one off, the other two will come"

"You know how I found out I have a fruit fetish? I had an Orange Crush."

"A teacher keeps on talking. Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Student: A teacher!"

"Confucius says... It is good to meet girl in park but BETTER to park meat in girl"

"When you aren't sure what somebody said so you just smile and hope it wasn't a question."