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Joke of the Day

"Inside jokes are bitterly resented by the homeless."

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"Nothing says 'I dont take you seriously' like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him."
"I never date left handed women Righty Tighty Lefty Loosey"
"What did the kleptomaniacal compulsive liar say when his beekeeper friend asked him what he was running away with? ""None of your beeswax!"""
"Here's a step by step guide to staircases *gives you a handrail*"
"4 is currently using scissors to whittle down a pencil. This will be a valuable skill if she ever goes to prison and needs to make a shank."
"How do u find an old man in the dark? Its not that hard"
"Call me old school, but I think your shorts should be longer than your private parts."
"How do you call a camel with 3 humps? With empathy, compassion, and honesty. Cancer is hard news, even for a camel."
"If Chuck Norris is running late, time slows down. It knows better."