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Joke of the Day

"Coworker to me: "" Why are you always rushing out of here after work? You're single with no kids."" Me: "" Exactly."""

"I wear the same 2 Halloween costumes every year. I start off as a ""ghost"" and end up as a ""drunk ghost that needs a ride home."""

"Yes, in fact I DO know what it's like to bleed like crazy once a month. That's my flossing schedule."

"Girlfriend mentioned she was lacking iron in her diet.nnnI gave her all my wrinkled shirts.nnnAnd that's how the fight started."

"Our topic today: Should we legalize monster trucks? We'll speak to monster truck expert Kevin, age 8. He believes they are ""cool and big."""

"Remember back in the olden days when we used wood-burning stoves and AOL?"

"What is the difference between a Ferrari and a boner? I don't have a Ferrari."

"""You're either going to love me or hate me."" - someone you will definitely hate"

"After being fired Donald Trump went to collect his last paycheck from NBC but HR wasn't sure who toupee"

"*runs into restaurant* IS ANYONE HERE A DOCTOR? ""I'm a doctor"" Nice. Nice. Can you buy me dinner I'm very poor"