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Joke of the Day

"Coworker to me: "" Why are you always rushing out of here after work? You're single with no kids."" Me: "" Exactly."""

"Kid's are afraid to take this nap. Kidnap."

"THERAPIST: Ever had a job? ME: I once worked at a zoo T: Great! & what did you take from that? ME: Definitely not a penguin T: What M: What"

"Who's bigger, Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby? Mr. Bigger's baby, because he's just a little Bigger."

"Did you hear about the hillbilly who was called to testify in court? When he spoke you could only see the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth."

"A suicide bomber in a pet shop A suicide bomber enters a pet shop and announces... ""everybody has only one minute to get out of here..."" Tortoise: Fuck :-/"

"Did you hear about the new bolt the apple company made? The eye bolt"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to Hungary."

"I think the bloke next to me is gay. I'm trying to take a shit, but he keeps giving me looks. I'll try the next urinal."

"Three small children walk into a bar... These kids not used to times square"