28792

Joke of the Day

"My really jacked friend shockingly ran out of protein powder today. He told me and I was like, No Whey"

"A man walked into his house and was delighted... ...when he discovered that someone had stolen all of his lamps."

"Before I die I want to be chased through the back of a Chinese restaurant."

"""I NEVER have enough pockets to carry all my awesome cargo!"" - revolutionary shorts designer."

"A Quebecer staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper. ""Black pepper, or white pepper?"" asked the concierge. ""Toilette pepper!"" yelled the Quebecer."

"How do Mexicans line up? Juan by Juan"

"I forgot I had an ambien in my back pocket Now my ass is asleep"

"Why don't Junior League debutantes engage in group sex? Too many thank you notes to write afterwards."

"A man walks past someone brushing their teeth with toothpaste in a gated garden... ""Cool-gate, dude,"" he said."

"Jaws (2015): ""(cell phone) Hi Coast Guard, yeah a shark is banging my boat oh you're on your way great thanks"""