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Joke of the Day
"""I like your pushy."" Sean Connery talking dirty to his woman"
Next Joke
"""Oh I'll be your relationship status alright..."" -me sleeping outside this Taco Bell"
"Capitalization is important There's a big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."
"So there's this hot NA chick in my chemistry class Her attitude is always salty, but hey, her booty is sodium fine. Edit: Na"
"If you have a family member you that you never want to see again, loan them some money."
"Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom xDDddd"
"two cows in a barn One turns to the other and says, ""Man this mad cow disease really has me on edge."" then other cow says ""*Pshh* I don't care, I'm a helicopter!"""
"I wonder if my first cat appreciates being at least slightly immortalized in my passwords."
"A gorilla walks into a bar and says ""I'd like a toddler on the rocks, please"""
"What do you call a smart blonde? A labrador"