28404

Joke of the Day

"What did one coconut say to the other? Oh my god a talking coconut!"

"What kind of shirts do philosophers wear Soccer tees"

"This girl just posted a status on Facebook which said:""F*CKING PHONE!!!!!!!!!"" Apparently, ""Can I watch?"" is not an appropriate reply."

"I decided to see what it was like to live as a woman. So I sewed all the pockets of my jeans shut. EDIT: Corrected spelling."

"Alsation: Was your master playing catch with you? Chihuahua: No I was playing throw with her!"

"Here's a new mythological creature for the consideration pile. Taurustaur. Half man, half reliable family sedan."

"The Westboro Baptist Church is planning on picketing Fred Phelps funeral. I'm not sure they even know what they're doing anymore, you guys."

"Two men walk into a bar... You'd think the second one would've noticed"

"I've never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry."

"I like that the doctor always asks if I'm a smoker. When I say yes, he tells me I should quit. No shit? Thanks. Here's all my money."