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Joke of the Day

"My cat's name is Isis, so you can imagine my horror when I turned on the news and saw ""Isis believed to be allied with Al-Qaeda"""

"Did you hear? LeBron James is starting an underwear line... They're called LeBron Johns."

"OH MY GOD EDDIE MURPHY IS GOING TO DO STAND UP I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT oh never mind they're going to commercial. #SNL40"

"My Asian girlfriend says that a small dick is no problem, although I'd prefer if she didn't had one."

"I have a bad habit of starting things and never finishing them. Let's all be thankful I'm not a surgeon."

"My fake ID's finally ready. Can't wait to order off the kids menu!!"

"I went to a placenta party the other day... the cervix was terrible."

"Bikes are held up by witchcraft if u can ride a bike you are a level 1 wizard & if u can ride a unicycle you are a level 2 dork haha owned"

"Sneezed while doing sign language and accidentally threw up a gang sign. 17 drug lords are chasing me down the street. Send help."

"What does Polynomial Man say when you beat him? Youve foiled my plans again!"