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Joke of the Day

"If you think Lord of the Flies couldn't happen, you've clearly never seen a group of 7 year olds go after a pinata."

"Scientists Have Isolated a Single Unit of Potato and Taught it to Use 4chan They've named the project Channing Tatum."

"I had sex twice in 24hours and I'm so glad that I have 4000 people to brag about it to"

"The good news is, it turns out there is literally nothing we can say here that will ruin our chances at a political career."

"Q. Why are ghostbusters afraid of bridges over small rivers? A. Because they're not supposed to cross the streams"

"Squirrel sex What did the squirrel say after fucking an acorn? Best nut of my life"

"The sentence ""I'm aware"" isn't very scary Unless you put Wolf on the end."

"I've realized that when my wife says ""what?"" its not because she didnt hear me, shes just giving me a chance to unsay something I just said."

"You look cute without glasses. my glasses."

"You can baby proof your house instantly by not inviting any babies over."