225680

Joke of the Day

"A man takes his dog to the vet... The veterinarian asks what the dogs name is. The man replies ""This is my boy, Rodger."" The veterinarian then replies ""Oh, so the mothers a bitch?"""

"My Wife's Accident The police knocked on my door last night, ""It looks like your wife has been in an accident,"" said one officer. ""I know,"" I replied, ""but she's good with the kids."""

"I moved to LA 9 months ago and I've just been circling around this whole time looking for a parking spot."

"*Clark Kent takes his glasses off* Jimmy: ""OMG, it's Superman!"" *Clark puts his glasses back on* ""OMG, Clark! You just missed Superman!"""

"You can pretend you're a ghost at pottery barn, there's no laws against that"

"For every male action, there is a female overreaction..."

"Welcome to ghosts anonymous. Nice to see such a spirited turnout. *all of the ghosts boo in unison*"

"If I lived in Gotham City I'd always be hinting I was Batman to get freebies. ""I'll get the bat-check. I mean regular check. Bat-thanks."""

"I'll complain about the government invading my privacy after I tell you where I am on Facebook and posting what I'm eating on Instagram."

"For just 2 quarters a day, you can send 2 quarters a day to African children. African children love collecting quarters."