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Joke of the Day
"me: [slides bank teller a note] bank teller: what's a ""roblery"""
Next Joke
"What's the key to finding love? Rohypnol"
"wife: it looks too tight me: it's fine, let's just go [ten minutes later paramedics have to cut my turtleneck off after I pass out]"
"My performance as ""guy who acts disgusted when wife says our recently divorced neighbor is dating a 23 year old"" is getting early Emmy buzz."
"Men in suits look really successful until you find out they work for the men in T-shirts and jeans"
"What are the man with no shoes say when he was forced to walk on broken glass? Fuck"
"My favorite name for a planet is Saturn... it has a nice ring to it."
"What did Hitler smoke? The Jews."
"My SO told me she had never heard of Einstein's Theory of Relativity before today. I said, ""It's about time!"""
"Lost dog. Missing: Three-legged dog. Distinguishing feature: Falls over when it pisses."