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Joke of the Day
"Slept with a girl who had eczema last night The sex was alright but her tits were cracking!"
Next Joke
"I swear, if the paper were better quality, I would wipe my ass with all these fucking reports I have to print out all the fucking time"
"This one got my coworkers The stewardess on my flight asked me what snack I would like. I told her ""The plain chips would be fine. She says ""They are all plane chips, sir."""
"A woman lost her wedding ring in Paris last night. I'm not talking about the one who deserved it."
"Why don't snakes have balls? ... because they would look like dicks."
"Are you celebrating Chinese New Year, gurrrl? Cuz I'd like to go home from the baa and ram ewe."
"What did the science teacher say when the kid was experimenting with magnets? ""May the force be with you"""
"Two sausages are in a frying pan One sausage turns to the other and says, ""gettin' hot in here."" The other sausage turns and says, ""holy shit a talking sausage!"""
"Teenager: Bae swag YOLO Me: In better times, people who spoke gibberish like that were burned as witches."
"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."