178140

Joke of the Day

"Google in the 80s ""I'm sorry, did you mean to search for *Deaf Leopard*?"""

"""If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you, son."" --Jay-Z consoling his son who just started menstruating."

"My first highschool football game was a lot like my first time having sex... I was bloody and sore by the end, but at least my dad came Repost from r/darkhumour"

"According to the Bible, what's Noah's favorite fruit? Pears."

"How do you make 5 pounds of ugly fat really attractive? Put a nipple on it!"

"My mom sent me a two paragraph email to inform me that she had called customer service and received $17 off her flight to see me."

"What is green and sits crying in the corner? The incredible Sulk."

"Just told my toddler to eat 5 bites of her dinner, to which she replied I was horrible. So I counted the number 3 twice. Biotch."

"Make it hurt nsfw A woman told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt so I fucked her twice and punched her in the face."

"That sunken Nazi submarine they just found is a lot like my girlfriend Dead and full of seamen"