207683

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who was on trial for masturbating to obscure court cases? He got off on a technicality."

"Why Does Michael J Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients."

"""This undercooked pasta is an absolute car crash"" What do you mean? ""It's all denty"""

"How do you use a philosophy degree in a professional context? *Why* would you like fries with that?"

"I bought a nice 12 year old Scotch. Obviously his parents weren't pleased!"

"What's another name for a dictator? Penis potato"

"I'm surprisingly calm about Internet spoiling Star Wars to me. Who could believe Kylo Ren is actually vegetarian and grandson of General Akbar"

"What shoes do roosters wear? Chickenstocks"

"How can you tell if someone has Alzheimer's? A. How can you tell if someone has Alzheimers?"

"Hired a violent monkey to beat up my enemies. I call him Injurious George."