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Joke of the Day

"What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved. Sea what I did there? I'm shore you did. Laugh, you son of a beach!"

"Oh, I almost forgot; my mom told me to tell you guys hi."

"How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes"

"I went to a really posh school. In fact it was so posh, the Gym was called James."

"So a lady walks into a bar and orders a double entendre... ...and the bartender gives it to her."

"What if we all do not exist and God is alone just imagining us?"

"It sucks to be a dick.. A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."

"I just hope this Justin Bieber thing doesn't make all yellow Lamborghini owners look bad."

"No need to drive me crazy. I can walk from here."

"While I might feel unsure how to react, my middle finger is well versed in handling stupid people."