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Joke of the Day

"How do you turn lead into gold? Start a war."

"A man goes into the library and says ""Do you have that book about small penis's?"" Librarian says,"" I don't think it's in yet"". Man,"" Yes, that's the one""."

"What do you call a deaf quadriplegic? Whatever you want"

"I once dated this German golfer chick. She was a pretty cool girl but she wouldn't ever do anal. She lovingly referred to her butthole as her back nein."

"I went to a girl and was like ""I'd like to take my rocket to Uranus"" She detached the final stage"

"Why were the melons upset when they were denied a marriage license? Because it means they *cantaloupe*"

"I'm going to be the first person to land on the sun! I know what your thinking and thats why I will be going at night."

"Omg someone broke into my professor's house & stole his laptop so my class today has been cancelled. I gotta find this person & thank him."

"So, saw a couple of transgenders dressed up as super-heroes.. May be Ex-Men"

"Why couldn't the teddy bear eat any more of its dinner? It was stuffed."