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Joke of the Day

"As a man, I bleed once a month too. When I floss."

"""You suck."" ""No, you suck."" ""Really, you suck."" ""Please, you suck."" ""You suck, I insist."" -- Polite vampires."

"U can give out anything on Halloween it doesn't have to be candy last year I gave a kid my cable bill it was awesome he paid it & everything"

"Guess what? Good guess"

"My boss refused to give me a raise until I whipped him with my belt. It took some feirce negotiating, but he finally buckled."

"""Today I'm just going to wear pajamas all day."" - Hugh Hefner ever morning of his life."

"The teacher asked Tom to make a sentence using ""frequent"". Tom: foxes frequent the nearby forest. The teacher asked: did you copy this from a dictionary? Tom: no. In the dictionary, it is wolves."

"Highways are a lot like toilets... It only takes a couple big shits to back everything up."

"My wife is gorgeous, selfless, amazing, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type."

"What's the difference between a nazi and a gay guy? 45 degrees of the wrist"