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Joke of the Day

"Every woman thinks her husband is a moron. And they're absolutely right because smart men don't get married."

"Right about now, Sarah Palin is sipping coffee and picking her next factually incorrect thing to say. And Glenn Beck is chasing a squirrel."

"Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard? He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills."

"A magic tractor went down a dirt road And turned into a field."

"I like my coffee how I like my slaves free"

"People should be able to spell arbitrary however the hell they want to."

"SON: *first word* momma. MOM: DID YOU HEAR THAT? ME: *distracted by the faint song of an ice cream truck* He never comes down our street."

"Q: What does pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common? A: Both can smell it but can't eat it."

"What's the best part of two lesbians marrying? Two cooks in the house."

"*buys a bunch of stuff at Costco* Sir, you wanna box for those? ""Nah, I hate violence. Can I just pay cash?"""