2745

Joke of the Day

"It's like these people that have to shop at Goodwill don't even realize how lucky and trendy they are!"

"What do little sisters ride? A Nii-san"

"Why is Rose sad? Because there is no Jack in iPhone 7."

"What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for? Sorry, I overwrote your order. :-)"

"What kind of fruit can't get married? A Cantleope"

"DEAD BABY JOKES! I will get it started! Why is a pile of dead babies easier to move than a pile of bowling balls. - You cant use a pitchfork to move a pile of bowling balls."

"Where does Ben Carson spend most of his time on Reddit? /r/explainlikeimfive"

"todd: *sobbing uncontrollably* me: relax it was just a little earthquake todd's wife: he's an etch-sketch artist. it was everything he had"

"How many cops does it take the screw in a lightbulb? The same number it takes to screw public confidence in law enforcement"

"This absolutely killed me when somebody told me this in a lecture last week... What do you do if you come across a Tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise."