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Joke of the Day

"*Speed Dating* Me: What'd you have for lunch? Her: Funny you should ask, I had this really great salad wit... Me: NEXT!!"

"When someone favorites instead of retweeting me I comfort myself by thinking ""they're just keeping me to themselves"""

"Hey, what's the difference between reddit and LOTR? In the books and movies, the trolls didn't type."

"How can you use a banana as a compass? Place a banana on the Berlin Wall. East is where a bite has been taken out of it. [Source](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Germany_jokes)"

"How does a skeleton call her friends? On a telebone."

"What did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead. I'll give these two a lift. Edit: Someone didn't like the word guys in it"

"To my American friends: On Sunday, don't forget to set your clocks back one hour. On Tuesday, try not to set your country back 50 years."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Lumberjack Barbie ...sleeps all night works all day"

"People with dysgraphia (inability to spell) also tend to answer arithmetical problems in an unpredictable, seemingly random matter. According to them, you can't spell ""calculation"" without ""luck""."

"I love the way the earth rotates. It really makes my day."