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Joke of the Day
"Why did the redneck cross the road? To get to the oth-TONY STEWART"
Next Joke
"Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL? Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange."
"What do a redhead and a freezer have in common? They've both got ice on the inside."
"Sign over the urinal in Dad's favorite bar We keep this restroom clean because we aim to please ... so, you aim too, please."
"Sir Mix-a-lot likes big butts and cannot lie. His twin brother does not like big butts and cannot tell the truth. You may ask one question."
"Girl, are you pi? 'Cause you are long and sweet."
"Why I don't watch science documentaries with my mum. Man on TV: Microwaves travel at the speed of light Mum: Fuck me, that's impressive. Microwaves are heavy."
"Chuck Norris likes knitting sweaters...... if by knitting you mean kicking and by sweaters you mean babies......"
"why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to get to the same side."
"How many of you have awakened with your spouse holding your hand only to find they are putting your thumb on your iPhone trying to break in?"