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Joke of the Day

"[crumpled up paper on floor] *tries to flip it up like hacky sack* *tries to flip it up...* *tries to flip...* *tries...* *leaves it*"

"Did you hear the one about the tiny prisoner who went down the stairs? It's a little condescending. ;)"

"I used the word ""procreate"" at work today... ... and a pregnant girl asked me what it meant."

"How'm I going to 80's montage myself out of this one?"

"What is all this #Brexit going around? When did Bromine decide to leave the periodic table?"

"Prove you're not a robot by typing two words that sounds like they were doodled on a toilet cubicle by a schizophrenic"

"I refuse to jump on the I hate Mondays' bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally"

"GOODBYE WORK COMPUTER HELLO HOME COMPUTER"

"""I dunno, maybe you go steal an old lady's purse, you can hold up a liquor store, & you...just sit there looking mean."" -Unorganized Crime"

"Read It and Weep: A Book on How to Cry"