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Joke of the Day

"Celebrating National Sex Day the only way I know how Not having it."

"[Racist Joke] What does a black men and the Terminator have in common? One says ""Hasta la vista baby!!"" and the other one says ""Hasta la vista son"""

"Stranger adds me to facebook *has a panic attack* Creepy as hell stranger follows on twitter *does victory dance*"

"Why Jared Leto should win an osvar for Suicide Squad. *spoilers Not ONCE did his Joker mention that he's a vegan."

"My carpenter refused to make me a kitchen worktop He said it would be counter-productive."

"What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor."

"Dear whoever is playing sweet child o' mine at 2:30 in the night at full blaring volume to disturb the whole neighborhood......NICE!"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Trump wouldn't pay $1000 to have a lentil on his face."

"There was a praying mantis in my room so I stealthily grabbed a shoe and smashed my 2nd-story window and jumped out."

"How does Albus get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble-door"