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Joke of the Day

"In art class I was told black was a shade not a color. That must mean black people aren't colored: they're shady."

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"The thing about penis jokes is.. they tend to grow on you."
"My friend went whale watching the other day... I didn't know people were paying to take pictures of my ex."
"You know you spend too much time with your kids when there's Sesame Street music in your head while mentally undressing women."
"""evreytime god closes a door, he opens a window"" - me, tryimg to convince my clients their house isnt haunted"
"Where is Hitler's bathroom? Down the hall and to the third REICH!"
"Repeat after me.... I Pam sofa king read card Ted. Complements of my 6th grader."
"A guy is having sex on a first date She's giving him a blow job. He tells her ""suck it harder"". So she does. Then, he yells, ""Blow, blow, the bed sheet is up my ass."""
"BMW tried to make an amphibious vehicle... Mercedes and BMW started selling amphibious vehicles. Soon, however, BMW was forced to stop selling them, as their customer's kept getting the Benz."
"I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together."