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Joke of the Day

"Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus."

"The fastest way to make 500$: Start stock investment with 1000$"

"What do you call an openly gay detective? Surecocks Holmes"

"Why do programmers like to concatenate time stamps? It's the only way they can get a string of dates."

"We could power our entire office with the wind produced from my constant sighing."

"I've taken up meditation It's better than sitting around doing nothing."

"I tried watching Inception with Twitter on. I still don't know what Juno was doing in their dreams."

"""...any reason why these 2 should not be married, speak now or..."" They're engagement photo only got 21 likes on Facebook! *crowd GASPS*"

"Johnny asked his grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could fuck in one night."""

"Why do Americans spell colour as color? Because fuck U, that's why."