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Joke of the Day
"Which celebrity is great at creating probate documents? Will Smith"
Next Joke
"Got a Handjob from a Blind Girl last night... She said ""You have the biggest dick i've ever put my hands on"" I said ""Nah, you're pulling my leg"""
"Today, I played God. I saw a bug, suffering. I watched it for a couple of minutes. Then I kept watching, and watching, and watching..."
"Two months ago my best friend took off with my wife. And god damnit, I miss him."
"What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby? You can't fuck a rock ..."
"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch"
"If I had known I was going to have this much shit to do at work today I wouldn't have come in sober"
"A man walks into a bar with a big slab of tarmac/asphalt under his arm... The barman asks him, ""So what can I get you?"" ""I'll have a pint and eh, one for the road."""
"I care more about the outcome of sporting events than any other aspect of human existence."
"What's black and doesn't work? Decaffeinated coffee"