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Joke of the Day

"A grasshopper walks into a bar ... The bartender says ""Hey we have a drink named after you"" The grasshopper says ""You have a drink named Steve?"""

"""No! Don't go into the church! Nooo!"" ""Honey, what movie are you watching?"" ""Our wedding video."""

"Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? A: To win the no-bell prize."

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches."

"And Jesus said, ""Come forth and receive everlasting life...."" But John came fifth, and only received a toaster oven."

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? ""Breathe, dummy!"""

"LPT: A lot of people cry when they chop onions, the trick is not to form an emotional bond."

"On the holidays I got quite drunk and being responsible decided to take a taxi home It's still in my backyard what do you guys think I should do with it?"

"Just asked a girl if she was from Gotham. She said, ""No, why?"" I said b/c you look like The Penguin."

"Lost and Found I was reading the lost and found section of the paper and saw this: ""Found, one black boy's bicycle."" Wonder how they knew?"