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Joke of the Day

"How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, two in the back and none in the ash tray because the Holocaust never happened."

"What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits your windshield? Its butt."

"When you aren't sure what somebody said so you just smile and hope it wasn't a question."

"What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio's face? Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie..."

"Why are lesbians superstitious? Because they are always knocking on wood."

"I just had to think to remember how to write a capital ""P"", so if anyone needs a tutor for their kid or anything, hit me up."

"(Dirty) What's good on a pizza but bad on a pussy? A thin layer of crust"

"What's the first place Dora explored? The mexican border."

"Kids are like farts. You can just about stand your own."

"On his deathbed, a man is asked if he wants anything said at his funeral. ""Oh look, he's moving."""