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Joke of the Day

"Kids are like farts. You can just about stand your own."

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches."

"Welcome to Condescending Club. Even an idiot would know the 1st rule. If not, you want paaaatronizing club. You know what that is, riiiight?"

"Why couldn't the tree solve the Lumberjack's riddle? He was stumped."

"My girlfriend used to kiss me on the lips but It's all over now."

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Its cheesy."

"Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it."

"Don't get upset if you hit a lot of red lights on your way to work. You'd turn red too if you had to change in the middle of the street."

"There's a skinny girl inside me who is just DYING to get out. She stole the last cupcake & then bragged about her metabolism, so I ate her."

"An Italian and a black jump out of a tree. Who lands first? The Italian. The black is tied to the tree."