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Joke of the Day
"<Tries to plow the road> Road: I have a boyfriend."
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"How many lead guitarists does it take to change lightbulb? One. He just stands there with the lightbulb and the whole world revolves around him."
"wife: ""what on earth are you doing?"" me: ""making a penguin"" wife: ""that's a pigeon"" me: [opening freezer door] ""not for long"""
"What do you call two brown people in a sleeping bag? Twix."
"Remote start, keyless entry, feature allows me the privilege of losing my keys- while I'm driving."
"What did the businessman wear to the thai restaurant? A plaid tie."
"Germany really put a whoopin on Brazil today... But it's still not as bad as when they beat Israel 6,000,000-0"
"Unlike Eric Garner... I live for out of state cigarettes."
"What do you call a cold hotdog? A cold-dog"
"Whats Marios favorite type of jeans? denim denim denim!"