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Joke of the Day

"How do you stop a Polish tank? Shoot the guy that's pushing it"

"Prostate Exam The worst part about getting a prostate exam is the embarrassment of getting an erection -- especially when they find out I'm not a doctor."

"I've read all of Charles Dickens's novels except one. I don't have *Great Expectations*."

"An egg and a sausage are frying in a pan... An egg and a sausage are frying in a pan. The egg turns to the sausage and says, ""It's getting hot in here!"", and the sausage replies ""Wow! A talking egg!"""

"As I get older, I'm really just looking for Girls Gone Mild."

"My girlfriend is: - super sweet - light as a feather - pink - melts in my mouth when I eat her - always at a circus - possibly cotton candy"

"Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home? A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television."

"The secret of recent explosion of Antares rocket The decades old Soviet rocket engines it used were engineered to fly TO America, not AWAY from it."

"So Chris Brown and Rihanna are now Engaged and they have a song together called ""Ain't nobody's business."" Well, I just wrote my own song called, ""Ain't Nobody Cares!"""

"[Playing piano to impress a Russian girl] ""Do you like it?"" Her: That's sheet music ""Yes, it is."" Her: Now excuse me, I huv to take a sheet."