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Joke of the Day

"A girl wants to go to the concert... She asked her dad for his permission, and he said, ""no, but you can buy the album, and that's vinyl."""

"I would tell you a chemistry joke about Sodium and Bromine Oxide but... Na BrO"

"The cool thing about being broke is you can tell your friends you aren't drinking for a while & they think you're getting your shit together"

"""Man, I did so much shit today"" *throws away diaper"

"My sense of humor is so dark that my grandmother would have been very unhappy if my sister went on a date with it."

"Mom: You need to get a hobby. Me: Like photography? Mom: I don't think stalking the garbageman is a hobby."

"As a Florida resident... at least I'll have medical marijuana to treat the fucking cancer this election has given me. I won't even need a lighter, seeing as the country is already on fire."

"What is the theory behind Brownian motion of sperms? It's testicle physics."

"How can you make your d bigger? CAPS LOCK"

"Did you hear about the Mathematician who was constipated, and lost his calculator? He worked it out with a pencil"