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Joke of the Day

"make it a double A woman walks into a bar. The bartender asks her what she wants. ""I'll have an entendre,"" she says. ""Make it a double"" So he gave it to her."

"Not all of the weird sexual stuff you hear about is as good as it's cracked up to be... I mean you can tell me how great autoerotic asphyxiation is till you're blue in the face."

"Saw an ad for a mirror. It said ""Never used"". How, then, did they know it was a mirror?"

"I am used but in good condition."

"Have you heard the latest trend... Have you heard the latest trend that's blowin' up the Internet? It's cyber-terrorism."

"What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him? Nothing, he just let out a little wiiiine."

"For a guy that could change water into wine, I'm surprised Jesus only got hammered once."

"If only the first rule of Vegan club Was not to talk about Vegan club"

"CAT VAMPIRE: let me in! ME: ok CAT VAMPIRE: you fool! now I will suck your bl- ME: *closes door* CAT VAMPIRE: ... CAT VAMPIRE: let me out"

"I used to have a friend who wanted to be run over by a steam train... When he finally was, he was chuffed to bits."