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Joke of the Day

"I am used but in good condition."

"An impotent man... ... named his dick Magikarp. Because it's useless and can only splash."

"I love a woman that can shoot a gun, but I fear a woman with good aim."

"If you're ever feeling stupid, just remember someone invented a wrench and named it Allen"

"My tattoos aren't braille, so do not sneak up to me & begin to feel them. Unless you're hot, then you get the secret taste option."

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he's out standing in his field."

"I love how people say they're ""expecting"" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin."

"My last job was circumcising elephants The pay wasn't great but the tips were huge."

"My cute kitten Aww, wrong sub."

"My girlfriend wants me to stain the new wooden fence in her backyard. So I'm going to eat spaghetti over it for a few weeks"