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Joke of the Day
"Walls are just sober floors."
Next Joke
"I just ate a pizza covered in pepperoni and chillies. To be honest, I looked pretty ridiculous."
"Pussy Me: Let me tell you a joke. Me: Pussy. You: ... Me: Do you get it? You: No.. Me: Exactly."
"The only way Congress will ever pass common sense gun control is if they're threatened at gunpoint"
"Mum: How come your friend ______ hasn't been around lately? Me: Because he turned into a cunt."
"Watching my kid pick his nose is disgusting. He wipes the boogers on his shirt instead of the closest cat like a normal person."
"In my interview for the binman job, I asked if you needed any special training... The interviewer said ""nah you just sort of pick it up as you go along""."
"What do you call a low income part of a town or city that is comprised mostly of pasta? The ""Speghetto""."
"Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? Because people kept toasting him!"
"What did the watermelon say to the honeydew? ""I'm sorry baby, we just cantaloupe."""