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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: You can only have clear liquids after midnight Me: Sure no problem Doctor: Not white wine Me:"

"What do plantains say when they lose their phone? ""Where did Mofongo?"""

"My son fell of the couch and said ""I broke my butt!"" So I said ""I get some super glue to fix it."" He said ""ya but it already had a Crack in it!"""

"So I was doing donuts in my car.. And a cop pulls me over. Now I know what you're thinking, who names their dog Donuts?"

"What does a black person get for Christmas? Your bike."

"Vegetables They never knew what hit em"

"Why did the stressed out zombie go on vacation? He needed some time to himself to decompose."

"What's a Jewish pedophiles favorite pick up line? Hey kid, ya wanna buy some candy?"

"How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder ""Instruction Manuals."""

"What does Jean Valjean use to listen to music? Cosettes."